Ciao for Now (or ever)

It turns out my motivation at completing writing prompts is pretty low.

In the beginning of the month I was going to do a bunch of the posts and liked the ideas and then it never happened.

Early in October I went to Melbourne and I was going to blog about the adventure but I didn’t do that either. Melbourne was great, the coming home part was less great. At the time I left for Melbourne there were a few things happening that I’d like to have shut my eyes, blocked my ears and pretended weren’t happening. Somehow, going away I was able to leave the issues behind me and have fun in the hustle and bustle of the city. I spent 2 days just wandering around and looking at what Melbourne had to show me, I felt free and light and not rushed or bound by someone (or something – work) elses constraints. Able to do what I wanted, when I wanted and where I wanted without feel liking I had to be somewhere.

In contrast, I came home to the deafening silence of my house, it engulfed me and made me remember all the things I’d left behind. At that point, posting about the trip was going to make me sad so I didn’t do it. Then I didn’t do it the week after that or the week after that. By that point I didn’t particularly want to post about anything and that hasn’t really changed.

I’ve owned my domain for 8.5 years now and I have archives of  6 of those but I can’t see myself sitting down and reading back through all those posts, they don’t really serve much of a purpose. I feel like the days of a blog like mine whose main reason for existence is to post random things about life for fun rather than for profit are pretty much over. Everything now is about how perfectly formed the words are and how pretty the photos, in hopes someone will want to pin them on one of their Pinterest boards, about showing a shiny perfect life where houses are immaculate, kids are never a pain in the arse and, in many instances, husbands are made the butt of jokes.

I miss the times when only people who understood how the internet and coding worked had websites and they were made because it was fun to show what you could create and have fun with similar people. Now everything looks the same, and free/pre-made themes are everywhere – I think I’ve seen the one I’m using on 4 or 5 sites. It seems like the originality that used to be abundant is pretty much gone.

So I’ve been thinking about the last time I had fun blogging and I really can’t remember, probably back when I used to make my own themes (we’re talking years here) and didn’t feel like I needed to have polished words for my blog to count. For that reason I’ve decided to stop blogging. It could be for a week, a month or forever, I don’t know. Until which point I can see it being fun instead of being a chore.