5 things I found on the internet – #1

This week, while I’ve been idling looking at things on the internet, I found some cool and unusual things and I thought I’d share them, because everyone else should see these as well.

So, here they are, isn’t the internet a weird and wonderful thing?

Squirt is a cool little bookmarklet that takes all the hard work of reading websites and makes it easy and lazy. It “reads the web, one word at a time” and you can set the speed and font type that it uses.
I wasn’t sure how well this would work but I did a few demos and it’s actually really neat and makes me wish I could read all things that way from now on.

Speed read the web, one word at a time
Speed read the web, one word at a time

2. Kama Sutra Chocolate Box
So, I was looking for a moneybox to go onto my new shelf and I found Firebox which claims to be ‘not for everyone’ which by the looks of it, is probably true. One of the results of my search for ‘Money box’ was ‘Kama Sutra Chocolate Box’ – that’s sort of the same thing.. so if you’ve ever wanted to get some inspiration while eating chocolate this might be for you. I’m not sure how I feel about sucking on chocolate genitals though.

Kama Sutra Chocolate poses
Kama Sutra Chocolate poses

3. Images You Should Not Masturbate To – 
So, because I happened to look at chocolate people doing it, I was then recommended the book ‘Images You Should Not Masturbate To’ and now realise that this post might be forming a trend. Squirt, chocolate sex, masturbation…

The blurb for this book is as follows:

“Choke the chicken, spank the monkey, charm the snake-however you refer to it, none of the images in this book will encourage you to pleasure yourself. This deceptively simple and strangely addictive book presents a laugh-out-loud collection of random pictures virtually guaranteed to dampen the urge of even the strongest libido.”

I assume some might take that as a dare.

On a related note, Amazon suggests buying ‘How to live with a Huge Penis‘  which looks like it gives some useful advice and, if nothing else, the reviews are pretty good!

4. The UNT mug
Part of me wants to buy this however, another part of me doesn’t want to get fired. Maybe if I came up with a clever acronym and act clueless when I’m questioned about it “Oh you’ve heard about the United National Trust? I thought I was the only one!” It could work, right?

The UNT mug - with a lovely black handle
The UNT mug – with a lovely black handle

5. Bacon Today 
Uhm, did you know there is a website that keeps you up to date in the world of bacon? Seriously! Is there nothing bacon can’t do? Apparently the answer is nothing, because there is an alarm clock that cooks your bacon, all you need to do is set your alarm and place a piece of frozen bacon into the slot, 10mins before your alarm is set to go off, it starts cooking and you wake up to the smell of delicious bacon. Apparently,  it’s been around for years! Why have I never heard of this before?

Cute and cooks you bacon!
Cute and cooks you bacon!

If that isn’t enough, they also sell Maple Bacon Lollipops  which are, unfortunately, named Man Bait. This has put a bit of a dampener on the bacon love.

I hope you are more enlightened now for seeing this and perhaps own a new book or some chocolate.

5 responses to “5 things I found on the internet – #1”

  1. I found this post hilarious to read! Particularly the Kama Sutra Chocolate Box and the UNT mug. We all know someone who needs that mug. 😛

    Squirt sounds really awesome! I could do with that for when I’ve got loads of academic journals to read for uni.

  2. Of all of the things I thought that I might read today “sucking on chocolate genitals” was not on the list, but I can’t say I regret it. The Bacon today clock is my new favorite things.

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