Week #4 – How do you want to be remembered?

by Kalliste // May 15, 2013 // 6 Comments

I have to admit, I’ve never really considered how I’d like to be remembered. Obviously, I’d like to be remembered in a positive way but if someone is remembering me and not currently knowing me then I probably don’t see them, or I’m dead… so all in all how I’m remembered doesn’t really affect me directly.

That being said, this topic made me remember a heated discussion I had one night with my Dad when I was around 15. My Dad was a mean drunk and would often say things just for a reaction. On this particular occasion he said to me “you’re never going to be anything and no one will ever love you” which probably isn’t the nicest thing to say to your 15 year old daughter. Even though I knew it was the alcohol talking it still hurt and I still cried and told him that it was one of my biggest fears that I’d never be outstanding and end up being ordinary. It was something I cared about immensely (as I’m sure most teenagers do) at the time.

During that time though I wanted to be famous for something, anything really. I just wanted to leave my mark on the world in a big, well known, way.

Thinking back to that now I wonder if I was crazy because I can’t really think of anything worse. I don’t want to have to watch what I say or do or have stalkers and photographers watching my every move. I’m sort of OK with just being ordinary.

I suppose, if I really think about it, I don’t want people to remember me for something specific. I’d just like to be remembered as someone they wanted to be around and spend time with. I guess just as someone worth remembering.

Week #3 – What gift would you give a person you don’t like?

by Kalliste // May 9, 2013 // 1 Comment

I’ve been attempting to write this all week but what do you get for someone you don’t like? Why would you spend time, thinking of a gift for someone you don’t want to spend any time with?

That being said, a gift doesn’t always have to be a good thing, you’re not going to like everything you receive so I figured I’d give them a lump of coal to match the darkness of their soul! Muahahahahaha! Yes, I assume someone I don’t like would have a dark soul. It’s not very realistic that I’m going to give someone some coal though, even if it could be hilarious.

I think, the thing I’d give someone I don’t like would be less tangible. As I mentioned above I could give them some of my time or forgiveness or a second chance, depending on the circumstances. While those all sound great, I’m not a big forgiver as I tend to hold a grudge, for a long time and only a few people earn a second chance and well, let’s face it, I’m not going to give someone I don’t like any of my time.

The conclusion I came to is that I’d probably give someone I didn’t like some tolerance and understanding because, ultimately, everyone has reasons for being who they are and acting the way they do. Just because I don’t like something about a person doesn’t mean I can’t at least be tolerant of their choices and understand that there is probably more going on behind the scenes than I’ll ever know.

And out of the blue she returned

by Kalliste // August 20, 2012 // 7 Comments

Yes, it’s me and not some spambot. Promise, or maybe I’m an especially good spambot… but probably not. What it actually seems like is that I decided on my return today after nearly 12 months without a peep.

It’s actually been a crazy 12 months, the most productive and life changing I may have ever had and it all started with a book. A leadership book to be precise that my boss (at the time) forced on me to build my leadership, communication skills and confidence. What it did was change the way I thought about life, work and people in general and made me see that I wasting away the life that I had.

So fast forward 12 months and I have a new partner, a new job and a new outlook on life. I used to be the person who could see they were going no where but never took any responsibility for it, none of it was my fault obviously. Now I’ve taken that responsibility and in doing it I’m a happier, better person and working towards a bunch of goals which is something I’ve never had before. I feel like I’ve put on a new pair of glasses and suddenly the world is clear again.

Fortunately, I didn’t have to do it alone and am glad, now, to have those persistent people who never gave up on me to help me along, that being new friends, Mum and the awesomeness that is Jarrod.

So now to the future, who knows what it will bring but here’s hoping that whatever it is, it’s amazing.

You have a gentle face

by Kalliste // May 11, 2011 // 6 Comments

“You know I wouldn’t have hurt you right?” said the creepy guy who got on the bus at the same stop as me last night.

He then continued it with “I’m not a creepy guy. I just wanted you to know that, ok?” and then sat next to me. 3 people on the bus and he absolutely had to sit next to me and have a chat. I think he was a bit drunk. Or that’s what I’m telling myself anyway.

So he is chatting about life and people and tells me I have a good soul or heart or something kind and loving and he could determine this within 5 minutes of meeting me. Why? Because I’ll work a graveyard shift. I mentioned that fact that, yes I am working a graveyard shift but you know what? It isn’t like I volunteered. I do this crazy, new fangled thing call shift work(heh, nearly wrote shit work).

He then continued on about how he wasn’t a creepy guy and he wasn’t going to do anything to me and if that doesn’t make a person start to freak out I don’t know what does. I dealt with it though because you might be surprised to know that this isn’t the first time this type of thing has happened to me.

Current creepy guy told me people talk to me and sit next to me on the bus because I have a gentle face. I look like a nice person apparently. All I was thinking was how to change that. What more do I need to do to let weirdo’s know that no, I’m not interested in talking whacked out stuff with them?

I try to work out everyday what makes me the person that people ask for the time or directions or sit down to have a chat with. What makes people stare at me as I walk by them? Even as I give them a “What the hell are you looking at?” look, followed by a “Is there something on my face?” look.

For some reason it seems to be highly concentrated on transport. Taxi and bus drivers (my current bus driver of a week has started a personal joke with me – “We have to stop meeting like this” – should I add him to the creep list?) mainly. Are they lonely? Why me? Why not the other guy that got on the bus?

Tell me, why me?

Influence of the internet

by Kalliste // November 20, 2010 // 4 Comments

Recently, working closer with the internet now, I’ve been seeing how the internet can so easily influence people. On a work level people are nearly brought to tears when their websites are down and we can’t get them back working immediately. Personally, I’ve seen people get so hurt or angry about what happens in forums or in comments and can’t help but laugh.

Yesterday, I had a reseller’s customer call because his domain was still expired and he’d paid the reseller to renew it for him. The reseller hadn’t done it as yet and in turn his customer ended up abusing me. Apparently, as the domain registrar it was my fault that his domain hadn’t been renewed and it was my fault that I wasn’t able to renew it for him. He told me that I absolutely would be renewing his domain and I would be doing it RIGHT NOW! This was his livelihood after all.

For everyone out there with a domain and hosting package, there is actually a lesson to learn from this. Never let your host register your domain for you in their name! Make sure you have full access to the domain should you ever want to move it somewhere else so that you don’t have to go through the hassle of getting it back.

On a personal level there is and, apparently, always will be internet/blog/forum dramas. Yes, drama llama’s exist everywhere on the internet! I know of a forum where occasionally the mods abuse their power. They, on occasion, feel as though they are better than the regular members and when the admin tells them off they start losing self confidence and deem themselves bad bad mods. Why do we take forums so seriously? Why can’t we just accept that other people will have different opinions from us and move on?

Is it a reflection of these peoples real lives? Do they only have power on the internet? Are they only in a clique online? I always wonder what these peoples lives are like off of the computer.

All in all, when did the internet become so important? When did we become unable to live without it? If you think about it, it wasn’t all that long ago when we lived our lives without even knowing what the internet was…

… granted, I know some people reading this were probably born in the late 90’s and probably have never lived without a computer or the internet or a mobile phone. Does this mean I’ve turned into one of those people that talks about how things were in their day?