5 things I found on the internet – #1

This week, while I’ve been idling looking at things on the internet, I found some cool and unusual things and I thought I’d share them, because everyone else should see these as well.

So, here they are, isn’t the internet a weird and wonderful thing?

Squirt is a cool little bookmarklet that takes all the hard work of reading websites and makes it easy and lazy. It “reads the web, one word at a time” and you can set the speed and font type that it uses.
I wasn’t sure how well this would work but I did a few demos and it’s actually really neat and makes me wish I could read all things that way from now on.

Speed read the web, one word at a time

Speed read the web, one word at a time

2. Kama Sutra Chocolate Box
So, I was looking for a moneybox to go onto my new shelf and I found Firebox which claims to be ‘not for everyone’ which by the looks of it, is probably true. One of the results of my search for ‘Money box’ was ‘Kama Sutra Chocolate Box’ – that’s sort of the same thing.. so if you’ve ever wanted to get some inspiration while eating chocolate this might be for you. I’m not sure how I feel about sucking on chocolate genitals though.

Kama Sutra Chocolate poses

Kama Sutra Chocolate poses

3. Images You Should Not Masturbate To – 
So, because I happened to look at chocolate people doing it, I was then recommended the book ‘Images You Should Not Masturbate To’ and now realise that this post might be forming a trend. Squirt, chocolate sex, masturbation…

The blurb for this book is as follows:

“Choke the chicken, spank the monkey, charm the snake-however you refer to it, none of the images in this book will encourage you to pleasure yourself. This deceptively simple and strangely addictive book presents a laugh-out-loud collection of random pictures virtually guaranteed to dampen the urge of even the strongest libido.”

I assume some might take that as a dare.

On a related note, Amazon suggests buying ‘How to live with a Huge Penis‘  which looks like it gives some useful advice and, if nothing else, the reviews are pretty good!

4. The UNT mug
Part of me wants to buy this however, another part of me doesn’t want to get fired. Maybe if I came up with a clever acronym and act clueless when I’m questioned about it “Oh you’ve heard about the United National Trust? I thought I was the only one!” It could work, right?

The UNT mug - with a lovely black handle

The UNT mug – with a lovely black handle

5. Bacon Today 
Uhm, did you know there is a website that keeps you up to date in the world of bacon? Seriously! Is there nothing bacon can’t do? Apparently the answer is nothing, because there is an alarm clock that cooks your bacon, all you need to do is set your alarm and place a piece of frozen bacon into the slot, 10mins before your alarm is set to go off, it starts cooking and you wake up to the smell of delicious bacon. Apparently,  it’s been around for years! Why have I never heard of this before?

Cute and cooks you bacon!

Cute and cooks you bacon!

If that isn’t enough, they also sell Maple Bacon Lollipops  which are, unfortunately, named Man Bait. This has put a bit of a dampener on the bacon love.

I hope you are more enlightened now for seeing this and perhaps own a new book or some chocolate.

I hate my phone!

I’m putting it out there, I can’t stand my phone. It’s just over 2 years old now and it drives me insane! 

Going back a few years, I used to have a work provided iPhone4 which was ok, it was free.. I wasn’t going to complain. When I was made redundant from there they asked for it back and I was left my crappy old phone that didn’t even know what the internet was.

I decided being without a smart phone was just too difficult and went on a hunt for a new phone. At the time, as I didn’t have a job, I didn’t have much expendable income and I decided to go on a plan that came with a phone. I wanted an HTC and for some reason (I can’t remember now) I decided that it should be an HTC Sensation. In the beginning it was good, I liked the camera, it was easy to use and even though it didn’t have Instagram (it came out on Android a few weeks after I got the phone) I was still happy with it.

But then! It started to randomly crash and when it restarted itself, it would come back with up much less battery, it could have had 100% before it died and it restarted with 10% for example. This was highly frustrating, more so when it would repeatedly crash to the point where I had to take out the battery to get it to stop. It sometimes gets to the point where I just want to throw it on the ground, stomp on it a few times and then throw it in a fire, to see it burn a melty death.


Battery usage comparison

Apparently this is a known issue with the HTC Sensation but if you take it to your carrier to get it replaced they blame water damage and make you pay for it.. so I’ve been stuck with this phone for 2 years now.

Finally, I’m out of contract on the phone and I’m going to do something about it! Yes, I’m buying a new phone but I’m not sure what to get. Currently, I’m thinking about either a Nexus 5 or a Sony Xperia Z1 Compact.

What type of phone would you recommend? Do you own either the Nexus 5 or Xperia Z1 Compact and have a review on it?